Time’s passage – Tom Hussey

August 7, 2013August 6, 2013 ~ Sasha ~ 2 Comments

I found these Tom Hussey photographs arresting. They are images of Alzheimer’s patients taken 50 years apart.

Perhaps it is because time’s clock is ticking, because the days are long and the years fly by, because the oldest of my three kids just went off for a month of sleepaway camp and, even though it’s still a long way off, his being out of the house for a few weeks reminds me and my wife that one day he will actually BE out of the house, moving on and living a whole life elsewhere, hopefully visiting us from time to time. And, eventually, so will my other two kids, even our baby girl.

Inexorably, I will, if I’m lucky, continue to live life, experience joy and sorrow, and, I hope, continue to gain wisdom and perspective as I grow older.

All the while I will continue to look in the mirror each morning, and one day (no doubt sooner than I expect it) I will be surprised at the person I see in the reflection. When that day comes I will talk to younger people and they will make the same mistake that I surely have made countless times: not understanding that I old was once young, vibrant, reckless, inexperienced, and brash.

American culture scores low marks in terms of respect for our elders, and I suspect it is because, in the absence of a strong set of norms around how to treat one another, as individuals we routinely forget the arc of the lives that others have lived. Perhaps most of us lack the capacity to see a wizened, cracked face, or a body that moves more slowly than it once did, and see the full life that person has lived.

Yet if we’re lucky, time will pass for all of us and we will grow old. Of course. I sometimes wonder, though, if our inability to truly understand this simple fact is one of life’s biggest practical jokes. I know that if we all felt how precious and fleeting our lives are we’d often act differently.

Seeing such vivid, beautiful images of time’s passage doesn’t make me fearful, but it does help me remember to live now, to experience the richness of life and love and family now, to be courageous in what I do now, because time really is flying, and my chance to make a difference is people’s lives is today, not tomorrow.

The Six Stages of Kevin Kelly

September 13, 2011September 12, 2011 ~ Sasha ~ 10 Comments

Last week I encouraged readers to buy the End Malaria book. When 62 great thinkers line up behind a cause and offer to share their ideas with you for free, PLUS you get to make a donation to end malaria…to me that’s a no-brainer.

(one important clarifying point in answer to a question that came from a reader: the book itself is not about malaria, it a series of short essays on living a productive life.)

First, a reflection on my experience buying the book. To my surprise, it did actually feel, when I curled up with my Kindle, that I’d gotten the book for free and had also made a donation to Malaria No More. It didn’t feel at all like I’d paid $20 for a book (I hadn’t). Interesting to think about that buyer experience in terms of participating in something as opposed to just consuming it.

Second, I have both the Kindle edition and the physical copy, and for the first time in a while I think the print is better just because it is so beautiful. It will make a great gift.

Third, Tom asked for reflections from the book itself, so here goes:

Kevin Kelly, the founder of Wired magazine, wrote an essay in the book called What You Don’t Have to Do, which really has amplified my thinking on the same topic. Here are the stages of professional life, according to Kevin:

Stage 1: Don’t Screw Up. “When you start your first job, all your attention is focused on not screwing up.”

Stage 2: Learn New Things. “At this stage, working smart means doing more than is required.”

Stage 3: Exploration. “Working smart here means trying as many roles as you can in order to discover what you are best at.”

Stage 4: Doing the Right Task. “It takes some experience to realize that a lot of work is better left undone.”

Stage 5: Doing things well and with love. “At this stage, you can begin to do only the jobs that you are good at doing and that need to be done. And what a joy that is!”

Now here’s where things get interesting, because it doesn’t stop there. The meat of Kevin’s essay is about getting past this stage, which is asking a lot. Stage 5 sounds pretty great. But, Kevin tells us, through real dedication, hard work, and honest reflection, we can go a step further and discover the things that ONLY we can do. Counter-intuitively, this means taking all things that are worth doing and that you do really well (but that others can also do well) and letting go of them.

As a magazine editor, that meant Kevin giving away all his story ideas to other writers, except the ones that no one would take on. These felt like duds, but Kevin discovered that some of them would keep coming back to life AND that he couldn’t get others to write them. So he hung on to them, and eventually he wrote them. They became his best stories.

That’s the last stage, not just for Kevin but for all of us: finding those things to which you are uniquely suited, and doing only those things.

Think of the discipline that requires. Think of the faith it takes to let go of all sorts of things you’re good at and that are worth doing – and the fear that if you do that, you’ll be left with nothing (which of course you won’t). Think of the courage and conviction it takes to realize that when people are telling you something is a bad idea, they may just be indicating that this one, and only this one, is the one that YOU need to make happen.

Kevin’s essay is much better than this blog post, so I hope you have the chance to read it.

Your truths

November 4, 2010November 3, 2010 ~ Sasha ~ Leave a comment

Ten years after its founding, Google wrote down and shared Ten things we know to be true.

Seems like a great thing for any young organization to codify after a decade.

Also seems like a good thing for a person to think about and understand.

Career paths are getting more serpentine. Big companies are done employing us for a lifetime. The most interesting jobs aren’t the ones we heard about when we were kids (doctor, lawyer, fireman), and they’re certainly not at the companies who came on to campus to recruit.

When whole industries are being created and are changing and are being destroyed right before our eyes, the concept of “In 15 years I want to be a _________” is anachronistic.

But if you can assemble your truths you have something.

If you understand the things that are irrevocably true for you – true at the core, not trite answers to interview questions – then you’ll have to worry a lot less about who you want to be when you grow up.

Give it a try: “I know that I ______________ “

Which purpose?

May 25, 2010May 25, 2010 ~ Sasha ~ Leave a comment

Having started my professional life as a management consultant, I’m all too familiar with the snarky refrain of people exiting the sector, “I got tired of flying around the world to make the world safe for Fortune 500 companies.”

Clever enough.

What’s perplexing is that when you’re making a shift from something you did for some extrinsic reason (it appeared safer, more lucrative, was what everyone else was doing, was what you thought people around you wanted you to do) to an intrinsic reason, it can be hard to make out exactly what kind of “purpose” you’re looking for.

Put another way: “purpose” and “social purpose” are not the same thing.

Right now, in US at least, there is a supply/demand imbalance in the “social purpose” sector. The number of positions in high-performing organizations in the social sector is a lot fewer than the number of people looking for those jobs.

But opening the aperture a little further to organizations with a purpose…I bet there’s a lot more out there.

Every entrepreneur worth her salt has a purpose, and most of the people who join their cause sign up for that purpose. Every organization that sees the world one way and wants to look another way has a purpose.

Purpose creates passion and zeal and focus and fun. Purpose gets you out of bed in the morning. Purpose is not apologizing for what you do when you explain it to others. Purpose is knowing that, even if the thing you’re fighting for blows up tomorrow, you’ll walk away and say “that was worth fighting for.”

There’s a lot of purpose out there, if you look…with purpose.

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Judging

January 19, 2010January 19, 2010 ~ Sasha ~ Leave a comment

You can decide that this is work and that is play.

That every time you do a little extra, someone else is getting the best of you.

That you’re making tradeoffs each and every step of the way.

Just remember that it’s you who’s doing the judging. Which means that some day (maybe today) you can choose to decide that you’re judging right – and do something about it – or decide that it’s time to start telling yourself a different story.

Don’t be afraid to thrive.

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You, only better

May 14, 2009May 13, 2009 ~ Sasha ~ 2 Comments

There are certain things that you’re best at.

The moments when you thrive, when you shine, when others say, “Wow, that was just amazing.” The moments that make you feel energized and clear and focused. The moments that pass quickly.

This is you at your best.

We all have things things we need to work on. We all need to round out the picture. But we need to know where to start. And why not start with your strengths?

I’ve never been a five-year career plan kind of guy, and for a long time that worried me. I secretly feared that I would never have that plan and that without knowing where I wanted to go I would never get there.

Lately, though, I’ve gotten a glimpse of what my highest and best use might be.

And I’m beginning to think it may well be all that I really need to know.

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Tag: life

Time’s passage – Tom Hussey

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The Six Stages of Kevin Kelly

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Your truths

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Which purpose?

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Judging

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You, only better

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