We fumble through so many workplace conversations, especially the meaty ones that make our blood pressure rise.
The easiest way to stay grounded and strengthen your connection with a colleague? Actively describe what is going on for you emotionally. This means getting above the feelings with enough perspective so you can describe them to another person.
“I’m happy you said that…”
“Thank you. I find what you’re saying really helpful.”
“Hearing this helps me see the situation in a new light…”
“It’s scary to be confronted with this, so I’m feeling that right now…”
“What you’re saying is really causing me to reflect, and I’d like some more time to do that.”
The volume of our own thoughts and feelings is often so high, we can easily assume that what we are thinking and feeling is obvious to everyone around us.
It isn’t until you describe it to them.