We fumble through so many workplace conversations, especially the meaty ones that make our blood pressure rise.
The easiest way to stay grounded and strengthen your connection with a colleague? Actively describe what is going on for you emotionally. This means getting above the feelings with enough perspective so you can describe them to another person.
“I’m happy you said that…”
“Thank you. I find what you’re saying really helpful.”
“Hearing this helps me see the situation in a new light…”
“It’s scary to be confronted with this, so I’m feeling that right now…”
“What you’re saying is really causing me to reflect, and I’d like some more time to do that.”
The volume of our own thoughts and feelings is often so high, we can easily assume that what we are thinking and feeling is obvious to everyone around us.
It isn’t until you describe it to them.
My “X” is a mental health professional and she will love this post. Often, we are far reactive and it is our right and duty to stay focused to be true to ourselves.
During a time when I was struggling with a pushy relative, my psychologist Pat (God rest her soul) would tell me to say “Well, I’ll have to think about that and get back to you” or “that doesn’t really work for me” and I would actually have many of these phrases on an index card, eventually visualizing that index card pinned to my forehead for quick reference.
Thanks Sasha for always keeping us thinking critically.