There’s a great old Gary Larson cartoon about what we say and what dogs hear.
I wonder if we could re-title this cartoon “our needs,” as in: every time we regale someone with “what we need” we remember that all they’re hearing is “blah blah blah blah.” But whenever we say their name, whenever we paint them into the picture, whenever we make them part of the story, they hear us loud and clear.
If you agree with the notion, rather than thinking tactically how to make this shift by “changing your pitch,” you might instead ask yourself what’s keeping you from actually seeing the person across the table as an integral part of the story….because she is.
If you don’t feel that way, she certainly won’t feel that way, and you’ll be stuck in exactly the wrong place: “blah blah blah blah blah.”
Well for goodness sakes, this is advice for PARENTS!
Sasha, great message linked to a classic cartoon. This is what I call the Transmit versus Transceive issue (originally taught by Kenexa CEO, Rudy Karsan). A transmitter broadcasts messages one way to the recipient. Too often we focus on what we’re going say, how we’re going to persuade, how we’re going to get our message across. But a transceiver is a device that both transmits and receives, and when we “transceive” our message we are equally focused on what the other person is hearing (“receiving”).
Best,
Kevin
Great take on this classic cartoon. My husband and I have spent 30 + experience. With each other, never mind the dog. I shared the cartoon and your blog. Made a great intro into a dialog about communicating our world views. Thanks you