We’re sometimes confounded by the big changes we want to make.
We get a glimpse of the person we hope to become, or a new behavior we hope to engage in, and nearly immediately find ourselves frustrated that we’ve not suddenly mastered that new set of actions. This isn’t how we change.
Real, honest, deep change starts small and builds, with steps like:
I will observe my reactions.
I will understand what triggers me.
I will watch the group.
I will experiment with new ways to respond.
I will be more observant about how people react to the things I do, and about how I react to the things they do.
Step by small step is the only way we get to bigger things like “I will stay grounded in stressful situations,” or “I will be more effective at confronting aggressive people.”
We owe ourselves the space to start small, figure out the component parts of the change we want to make, and then be deliberate and persistent. Our job is to go easy on ourselves along the way, while also not letting ourselves off the hook of continued progress.
Looking backwards the changes will look like leaps, but often they’re the accumulation of lots and lots of baby steps.