Generosity experiment

On the subway today, a man was asking for donations so he could buy food, sandwiches, deodorant, even hand sanitizer to give for free to homeless people.  He had lived on the street two decades ago, he said, and now does this part time to give back, in addition to a part time job he holds.

I have absolutely no idea if this is true, but I was skeptical. I, along with everyone else in my car, got off the train without giving him any money.  Right after I got off the train I knew I had done the wrong thing.  It just didn’t feel right.

Most of the time I don’t give to people on the street. It seems to make sense, rationally, not to give most of of the time — and instead to give to great organizations that are doing things for the homeless. Perhaps, but it’s easy to take this too far. 

Giving is an act of self-expression, and generosity is a practice. Each time I decide not to give, I’m reinforcing a way of acting – one that’s critical and analytical and judgmental.

You may not be like this at all.  You may consistently act from the heart first and not the head.  Good for you.  More often than not, I don’t, though it’s something I’m working to change.

So I’ve been thinking that I need to try a generosity experiment: for a period of time, when I’m asked to give, to say yes.  To everything.  To emails and people on the street and friends raising money.  Everyone.  I think it will be good practice.

What do people think?  Does this make sense? [sic]

P.S. More on this topic from the Freakonomics blog, where Barbara Ehrenreich is very clear that you always give to someone on the street who directly asks you. 

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Sasha Dichter

I’m Sasha Dichter. I’ve written this blog since 2008, about generosity, fundraising, leadership and the long, slow work of pursuing mastery. By day I run 60 Decibels. More about me · Browse by topic

Comments

44 responses to “Generosity experiment”

  1. Brian Curry Hartmann Avatar
    Brian Curry Hartmann

    I’ll be interested in hearing how the practice of saying yes to everything changes your outlook. How long is your experiment?

    I do know that saying NO to everything has an effect on a person, cultivating hopelessness and distrust.

    Perhaps during your period of generosity you will obtain a deep gratitude for having the ability to help others.

  2. Sasha Avatar

    I was thinking the month of December, with the hope that the experience will inform what to do going forward. What do you think?

  3. Jeff Raderstrong Avatar

    I’m not sure if I support this. What would you say to someone who told you to buy anything anyone offered you? Your generosity experiment is the same concept, but instead of buying a product, your donations are going to a service: change within the charity’s area of focus.

    I don’t want most of the products out there and I don’t want to support most of the charities out there. I have no issue with other people supporting those charities, assuming that they have a good reason to. I just don’t think “because they asked me” is a good enough reason.

  4. Sasha Avatar

    Jeff, solid points all, and aligned with why I try to be very discriminating most of the time. What about the personal angle of generosity as a practice?

  5. Jeff Raderstrong '09 Avatar

    I think being generous as a practice is a wonderful thing, be it personal, professional, or casual, but we have to remember who is being helped by our giving. I feel like its irrelevant what we learn about ourselves through giving when looking at the broader goal in mind, i.e., helping others. If our donation to the homeless man on the street could have been better used at an organization that provides services to the homeless, then our money should go there. If it is actually better spent by giving it to the homeless person, then it should go there. But determining that takes discernment and thought, and not indiscriminate generosity.

  6. dob Avatar
    dob

    jeff makes good points – this would be ‘giving without good reason’ but maybe there is a point to that

    sasha i think you should try something like this

    the reason for doing it is that we can be too dumb and distracted to give with good reason. maybe you will give two dollars to a girl who says she needs bus fare and later learn that she collects money to buy drugs from a group of men that she hangs out with. experiences like this can help us become more observant, clear in our reasons for giving, and better in our methods.

    helping people is easy but we’re all bad at it.

    p.s. december is the worst time because we already have christmas season giving habits. try giving without thinking in january after the rush

    hi jeff

  7. Sean Stannard-Stockton Avatar

    Nice post Sasha. Your post reminds me of the ethic that Bill Somerville holds. Philanthropy is a personal act of caring and always trying to be logical actually turns off the empathetic part of our brain (see my Chronicle of Philanthropy column for more on this).

    As I wrote in my column, this presents a paradox with no easy answer. But I think that for people who work at places like Acumen Fund, Tactical Philanthropy Advisors and other organizations that have a Left-Brain approach to philanthropy, it is important to experiment with ways we can keep our giving firmly rooted in the critical human traditions of generosity, caring and empathy.

    Let us know how your experiment turns out!

  8. eilat navon Avatar

    I made it a habit to give. Maybe I’m taken advantage of, maybe not, it’s not an issue, at least for me. Poverty and need are not universally measurable, and if someone reaches the place in which he/she needs to ask/beg – its enough to warren my giving. No questions asked, no due diligence required. Somehow I feel that this is the most basic of generosities (and yes I give to charities, causes etc. too).

  9. Ann Graham Avatar

    Sasha,

    The other day I was walking down 43rd between 5th and 6th in a driving rain. I was a few feet from the Princeton Club where I was on my way to have my lunch and work out. With lunch in a bag in my hand, I was hungry and almost running. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a woman huddled against a wall in a doorway. Her eyes were closed. Her mouth expressionless. Her face was covered with scabs. She had the typical cardboard sign. I passed her and was almost to my destination when I turned out went back to where she was and gave her my lunch. I think she was shocked that anyone had noticed her. The smile, though, that was what blew me away. I have never seen anyone so grateful. That I had the ability to make someone in that situation happy still blows my mind. I am grateful for my generosity but far more grateful for her appreciation. Cheers, Ann

    I have had similar feelings over the years– wondering if the person is just going to take the money to get drugs or a drink, but more often than not I really try to resist my dismissive impulse.

  10. Debra Natenshon Avatar

    As the CEO for an organization that is focused on left-brain giving, mostly in the form of building the capacity of nonprofits and funders to better measure, analyze and articulate results, I found this post refreshing, with a caveat:

    Although giving is not an altruistic act and often is done to make us, the giver, feel good, generous, and helpful, it is important to know that our giving is causing positive benefit rather than unintended harm.

    To this point, when I see the homeless person, sign in hand, I tend to always give food rather than money. And not junk food, but typically a granola bar or a meal I would have eaten myself. That way, at least I know that I didn’t contribute to a harmful habit and may have at least helped to stave off some hunger, even if short-lived.

  11. hfreeman17 Avatar

    I would advocate using discernment and prayer, and I would ask for others to pray for you during the experiment.

    One thing I try is for people asking on the street–if I stop and engage with them–I ask them their name and try to find what they really need. Often, they let me know they really want something to eat, which I buy for them, rather than money. But one guy I come across quite a bit now doesn’t want me to buy him anything. He is unemployed and everytime I ask him how it’s going and whether work is on the horizon, he just shrugs it off. I always say hi to him, shake his hand, but I have stopped giving him anything since he has demonstrated to me no movement toward helping himself.

  12. Jeff Walker Avatar
    Jeff Walker

    good experiment but what if you had to give $100 to each person that asked? $1000? it is easy to give small but at what point do you have to start “choosing”?

  13. […] few weeks ago I started a generosity experiment.  The idea, sparked by a homeless man to whom I did not give, was to spend a period of time saying […]

  14. […] can you spare $20? Jump to Comments My generosity experiment from last December began on the NYC subway.  A homeless man asked passengers for money, I thought […]

  15. […] Longtime readers will remember my Generosity Experiment (here’s the blog post or, if you prefer, here’s the video).  My experiment lasted a month, and I found it […]

  16. […] to Sasha Dichter for starting it! (He did it for a whole month, I fall at his feet for that.)  And read the whole story behind […]

  17. […] to Sasha Dichter for starting it! (He did it for a whole month, I fall at his feet for that.)  And read the whole story behind […]

  18. […] a year ago, I conducted a month-long generosity experiment (here’s the original blog post, and here’s the video).  It started because, on a cold December day, rushing home on the subway, […]

  19. […] months ago Sasha Dichter put himself through a “generosity experiment” where he he said yes to every request for help that came his way, most notably from […]

  20. […] you know by my incessant blogging and tweeting, today was Generosity Day.  Thanks to Sasha Dichter for starting it! You can read the whole story behind this at Fast […]

  21. […] you know by my incessant blogging and tweeting, today was Generosity Day.  Thanks to Sasha Dichter for starting it! You can read the whole story behind this at Fast […]

  22. […] to give love (in monetary form). Reframing the day as “Generosity Day,” inspired by Sasha Dichter’s Generosity Experiment, nonprofit organizations like Pittsburgh Parks Conservancy asked people to spend their money on […]

  23. […] feels 100% right to me.  Generosity Day, for example, grew out of my Generosity Experiment more than a year ago, coupled with the experience of helping create Search for the Obvious at […]

  24. […] led a campaign to re-brand Valentine’s Day as Generosity Day. In the spirit of his initial “Generosity Experiment,” Sasha challenged his readers to open their hearts and say “yes” to all requests for one […]

  25. […] development at Acumen Fund, came up with a brilliant idea by turning Valentine’s day into Generosity Day. I chose this article to write about because first of all, I’ve recently read an info graphic […]

  26. […] was on a panel with Katya Andresen from Network for Good.  Sasha did a talk about his month-long generosity experiment.  He started it because on a cold December day, he passed a homeless person on the street asking […]

  27. Katie Schmitz Avatar
    Katie Schmitz

    Is there a captioned version SOMEWHERE of your talk on the Generosity Experiment? I have deaf college students I’d like to show this to, but I can’t unless it’s captioned.

  28. […] Dischter gave a wonderful talk at TED discussing his work with the Acumen Fund and the Generosity Experiment that he did. The experiment was this – for 30 days, he decided that whoever asked him for […]

  29. […] read Sasha Dichter’s thoughts in response to that very same situation over on his WordPress […]

  30. […] Dichter’s generosity experiment – he said yes to anyone that asked him for money for a […]

  31. […] of what started me thinking about this was Sascha Dichter’s generosity experiment, where he decided to say YES to everyone for a set period of time. He decided on a month – and […]

  32. […] been more than two years since my original Generosity Experiment. The experiment was an intuitive, gut reaction to an incongruence I felt between my commitment to […]

  33. […] Novogratz, the founder of Acumen, is a personal shero for me. And I also came across this Generosity Experiment by Sasha Dichter who works at Acumen. You can listen to Sasha’s experience with the […]

  34. […] a growing movement to instead celebrate Generosity Day, an off shoot of the Generosity Experiment, first celebrated in 2011. "Valentine’s Day rebooted […]

  35. […] Sasha was discussing his “Generosity Experiment” with Katya, in which he said YES to everyone who asked him for help for an entire month. The […]

  36. […] Dichter, the man behind the Generosity Experiment, is on a mission to, in his words, “reboot” Valentine’s Day–to make it […]

  37. […] фонда Acumen — придумал и осуществил «эксперимент с отзывчивостью». В течение месяца этот человек применял довольно […]

  38. […] I just came across this cause: Generosity Day. The idea is simple: commit to small acts of kindness and make Valentine’s Day a day of “sharing love with everyone.” You can read more about the origins of the movement here. […]

  39. […] shout-out to Sasha Dichter for this idea through his Generosity Experiment.  We need more “science” like […]

  40. […] I’ve been thinking that I need to try a generosity experiment,” she writes in her 2009 blog post. “For a period of time, when I’m asked to give, to say yes.  To everything.  To emails […]

  41. […] right about declining to give money to a homeless man on the subway, Sasha Dichter started a generosity experiment. According to […]

  42. […] Sasha Dichter, Chief Innovation Officer for Acumen Fund, decided to convert his month-long “Generosity Experiment” into a global Generosity Day. The idea was simple: to reclaim Valentine’s Day from the […]

  43. […] Day, Sasha Dichter, Chief Innovation Officer for Acumen Fund, decided to convert his month-long “Generosity Experiment” into a global Generosity Day. The idea was simple: to reclaim Valentine’s Day from the […]

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