This year more than most, I’ve had bouts of sleeplessness.
I’ve always been a great sleeper, so this comes as a bit of a surprise. I generally have good sleep hygiene, include a reasonably consistent bedtime, bedtime routine, and no devices or other distractions in the room. I also start my days with a morning dog walk that supplies fresh air, early sunlight, and happy dog energy. And I do my best to remain physically active.
When I have trouble sleeping, I do a version of a breath counting meditation, sometimes with a body scan. I start at 1,000, and with each in-and-out breath cycle, I count down one. 999. 998. 997… At ~10 seconds a breath, I work my way through the numbers pretty slowly.
Most of the time, I get lost somewhere in the 800s. This could be because I get distracted by my thoughts, or because I doze off.
But occasionally this year, I’ve found myself getting further down into the smaller numbers, and I’ve found this frustrating. All the normal thoughts of “why isn’t this working,” “I’m just lying here, again, in my bed,” etc. start circling, and I get agitated.
Lately, what I’ve tried sitting with is the reflection that I am already resting.
The act of lying down, with a clear mind, breathing slowly in the dark, is itself restorative.
Meditating on this thought has help me be less goal-oriented in my relaxation (!!), and helps me be less concerned and tired if, indeed, I don’t manage to get myself back to sleep.
I’m hoping that the next few days don’t bring us all new reasons to feel stressed.
But if they do — and even if they don’t — we are all better served by being the most rested, rejuvenated versions of ourselves.
I hope you find this reflection useful, in whatever way you might adapt it to your body and your life.